Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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