dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
So vagazzling was a success
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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