don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
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