ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
No I am not eating basil off your cock
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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