Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i think i have two assholes
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
