Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
