How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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