Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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