SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize