my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
