i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Randomize
