beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
