Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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