So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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