my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm sobbing to NWA
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I'm always down for nudity.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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