His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
There r osticjed everywhere
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
