Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
