i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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