Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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