You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Randomize
