Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
