i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
