porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
