Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
