We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize