That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
