She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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