worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
