I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
The adults are the big ones right?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
