I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
