I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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