i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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