yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
