Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
