Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
