apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
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