Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
