it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Randomize
