Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
She bit a glass in half.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
