This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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