I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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