Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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