exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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