I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
