please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
