its not stalking. its research.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
