I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
