We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
