He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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