I didn't shave. On purpose
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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