I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
