I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
