hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
