why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
