Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
