So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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