also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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