So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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