Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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