Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
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Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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