I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
