What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
We're too hungover to prance.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
